The Latest

Oct 14, 2014

you did disappear congrats

I won’t look at you I keep talking but I won’t look so you don’t have to worry about it I found a loose thread in my shorts and pulled at it until the cotton began to unravel The metaphor was in my laughter hahahahahaha No I’m not going to look I’m not looking at you I’m not looking I’ve seen this before and it looks the same no matter what time of day but right now the sunlight is holding a shadow contest against your limbs and almost almost I can see the years you lost inside of the black lines stacked up in shades of color I said I wasn’t going to look I said it

how do you feel

Sometimes when we talk we’re staring into mirrors we’re just talking to ourselves And could we call this hopeless Yes We could say it’s not worth the trouble and why would we want that trouble Why would we want that

My foot taps a heartbeat on the floor and you start to play guitar I say do you want to go outside There is no cross-breeze in my apartment I light a cigarette and feel dizzy You start to sing My hands shake and I feel sad because it isn’t perfect even though it looks like it is From the street I’d see two girls who love each other I would see it in their music and smokey breath If I were in the street I wouldn’t know the differences and I’d see two girls I need to call you back I really should explain myself or apologize or find out what happened

The ash falls onto my thumb over the faded ink ARE YOU WHO YOU ARE It’s from before but it was premonition Like most things we know exactly what we’re doing Of course we know We just don’t tell ourselves You said it was the law of attraction that makes us feel pulled to the things we think about If you learn to protect yourself you’re going to end up in situations where you have to That’s just the way it works and maybe no matter how hard you try you’ll never be any different because you are who you are

are you who are you

I want to know really really really

You go to the bookshelf and open the biggest dictionary Your handwriting reminds me of someone I didn’t even know there was a section for Spanish words quitado pasado ella se ha ido It’s broken Always just cracking off of our tongues

I am on fire I wait on the edge of the bed until the flames reach my hair and it’s no longer a waterfall but a volcano I wait and then it happens You say you’re falling asleep and I don’t say anything I count the seconds I count the ash flecks as the fan blows my skin from my bones I think I’ve counted long enough that it doesn’t matter what I tell you because you can’t hear it in your dreams And it already happened anyway I wonder if I burned you I’m not on fire anymore The rain falling makes a sound more soothing than I was taught I wonder why

How the clouds flew across my forehead when the storm passed and the fever broke I could hear a cool breeze I could feel the seasons change I put my socks on and let the gravel dig under my feet How the clouds flew and I could taste cinnamon in the air It sprinkled off the side of my building that autumn When the spiders died they turned to cinnamon When they were crushed under the weight of a chilly day Under the weight of my chilly palm The aroma filled the jet stream That’s where those clouds were going We must always set the stage for what surreal bizarre ideas our bodies allow us to produce

I say Wake up You bat your eyelashes I push on your nose You roll away My stomach growls I am hyper I see your hip curve and your boxer briefs Oh I am hyper I stare and the ceiling won’t meet my gaze

The walls were buzzing I thought I was dreaming inside of a football stadium That earthquake buzzing until I remembered and the clock said 1:56 and I made myself stand up but I was sleepy stumbling

I pressed my face to the glass and you had a cigarette in your hand Your voice was so loud SORRY DUDE DID I WAKE YOU Yes I’M SO WASTED I wanted to slap you but that didn’t seem supportive Are you an alcoholic Don’t you know it’s a weeknight I have to work in 3 hours OH SORRY DUDE I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS THIS LATE I would let you in but then you’ll pass out in my bed and make me anxious I just want to kiss you DUDE I’M SO SORRY I really want to smoke that cigarette with you but I could just as easily go back to bed and that sounds easier

I was sleepy and I told you to go and maybe I should have made sure you were alright but you wouldn’t have told the truth anyway It was a Tuesday night and I was wearing boxer briefs and a v-neck in the stairwell acting like a father I can’t do it like this it hurts when I take care of myself because I know you’re not being taken care of

I can feel a penis in my stomach sometimes I can feel that male anatomy trying to paraphrase what my eyebrows can’t Sometimes when I have sex I don’t make any connection at all not even with myself because my vagina is a metaphor It is not ready It is not ready

Do you know what the stage looks like in mid-afternoon when a thin layer of dust has settled over paint flecks and no one exists The only ghosts are characters off of script pages Dark manuscript lined facial features haunting the corners behind curtains They are in that other dimension where microphones always hang from the ceiling and a 17-year-old girl is selling baked goods in the hallway wondering if she’ll remember her own lines when the time comes to deliver Do you know what the stage looks like when it’s set and ready to be rhymed against

the stage is a cage I ripped out a page

10x10 cage

wandered into a rage

I stood on the stage I stood in the cage I stood on the page I stood in a rage

Don’t stand up let me get you some water Please stay I know you hate yourself but I am right here

Sep 19, 2014 / 483 notes

michaelanthonynatale:

Banks - “Brain” [Prod. Shlohmo]

Aug 22, 2014

i think we’ve almost perfected the Chinese quesadilla please praise

Aug 20, 2014 / 1 note

Flat beer and lukewarm Qdoba AM I A LESBIAN

Jul 23, 2014 / 1 note

im gonna feel something when mary burke loses because i spent that 7$ on cigarettes and not her bumper sticker

 i used to be an activist but then i found sarcasm

Jul 9, 2014 / 1 note

I haven’t been on here in so long HAVE A RHYME TIME

after the baby boom cigarettes became daydreams black and white only the color of polarized skin and cognitive distortions When it stopped being for me but the world I lived in And I was and that was my world

So I drew a map with the lines perfect black and thought if I got lost it would show the way back But the map was a trap it only showed what I lacked Showed I was a metaphor and not worth much more After that I stayed where I was and built a house out of tea boxes Called it Chaos Cottage Said fuck it 17 times and drew up a deed with one last rhyme scheme

You will not succeed if you don’t know what you need and you won’t know what you need until it finally leaves

So shut the fuck up and do the worksheet Please

Delegations #
Jun 13, 2014

Delegations #

Jun 9, 2014

on a 2 week arrow to orphandom sit in the tassels on the end of this song just watch the people and say little whispers in between your teeth

Jun 9, 2014

NOPE ITS NEVER OVER

Jun 8, 2014 / 1 note

If you pace around the living room long enough you’ll find out where the dust settles a lot of places you wouldn’t expect and I hope you laugh and I hope that’s the metaphor that laughter